The Biggest Bombshell of 2020

This decade is not delivering the most promising start. It’s hard to believe just how naive we were at New Year’s when we were innocently ‘sipping’ champagne and toasting to the great Roaring 20s ahead. As with every New Year’s Eve, we all made grand resolutions to change. However, I doubt any one of us could have predicted the way the world would change entirely. Remember the Australian bush fires, which burnt over 11 million hectares of bush, forest, and land? They almost seem insignificant when compared to a global pandemic and worldwide riots. 2020 is that scene from a movie that gets skipped … so can someone please pass me the remote control to do so? Yet, this is nothing in comparison to the unprecedented furore that NASA has caused. Forget about millions of people dying. The greatest bombshell of 2020 is a catastrophe unknown to civilisation. A catastrophe that has wiped out 2,500 years of human history, far surpassing the toppling of any statue.

NASA has decided to change the zodiac signs.

The Science Stuff

What right does NASA have to meddle in such an established science? Astrology isn’t even part of Astronomy, and yet NASA just had to intervene. Perhaps the agency was concerned that Space-X wasn’t getting enough attention and therefore decided to pull this stupendous PR stunt. It’s a genius move considering nothing else is on the news since Brexit has thankfully disappeared from the headlines.

The other possible reason for this grievous calamity is the fact that Earth’s axis has shifted. Thus, the sky is different today to how it was when the zodiac signs were first invented by the Babylonians. Therefore, constellations which line up with our calendar dates and star signs have shifted.

To further disturb the perfectly good zodiacs we have stuck with for thousands of years, NASA has included a new one, Ophiuchus. It seems as if we have another ‘is Pluto a planet?’ situation all over again. NASA said the Babylonians ignored the fact that the sun moves through 13 constellations. Perhaps because they thought 13 to be an unlucky number, or they just preferred the number 12 … who knows?

Ultimately, all NASA has done is extremely irritate the human race amid a worldwide pandemic. Due to the Earth deciding to shift slightly, around 86% of the population now have a different star sign. Not only do we have to worry about buying hand sanitiser, wearing masks correctly, and stockpiling toilet paper, now we have to agonise over the zodiac readings and horoscopes being a lie. Do I still have an “impulsive nature” and a “stubborn edge” associated with my now ex-star sign?

Everything we once took for granted has changed. Life will never return to the simple days when one could predict the striking of good or bad fortune. Although, it does seem a little odd my horoscope never mentioned lockdown…

The New Star Sign – Ophiuchus

The Ophiuchus constellation represents a man grasping a snake. As a healer, Ophiuchus combined with the snake imagery brings to mind the caduceus used in the medical field. I’m not much of an expert, but I imagine this means you are destined to be a doctor if your birthday lies between 30th of November and 17th of December. Apparently not. However, you are supposed to be very desirable, passionate, jealous, secretive, and arrogant. Yes, I think this exactly describes every single person I know who falls into this new star sign.

It’s also pronounced ‘oh-few-kuss.’ Couldn’t NASA have come up with a slightly easier name?

Changing Star Signs

This is an unparalleled crisis. Do we take the new star sign or keep the old one? Do we choose to have two signs? Do we have any choice in the matter, or are we simply to obey the bidding of another great institution?

According to Zodiac traits and characteristics, I am no longer a moody, aggressive, yet courageous, confident, and passionate person, as affiliated with being an Aries. Now I’m supposedly the sad, musical, gentle, and spiritual Pisces. It’s been said that people change when they go to University, but this seems a little extreme.

Furthermore, my flourishing love life has completely transformed. Aries should never date a Capricorn. Everyone knows that. Elle Magazine describes Aries as ‘rule breakers’ and Capricorns as ‘rule makers’, resulting in a relationship filled with tension and a clash of personalities. However, now I’m supposed to be a Pisces does this change? Will I have to bend my morals and bear to date a dreaded Capricorn?

On The Other Hand…

Some people are not a huge fan of horoscopes. Apparently they can be too impersonal and dependent on ‘magical thinking’ – when your mind is heavily influenced by something to the extent that you unconsciously cause it to happen. This seems a little too far-fetched for me.

Nevertheless, I must admit the changing of our Zodiac signs may not have the greatest impact on our daily lives. However, the concept of our personalities and fortunes depending on our birth dates is fairly intriguing. It is also mildly interesting how Earth can wobble a little bit from now and then. Who knows? After another few thousand years, maybe there will be another new star sign if the world decides to wiggle a bit more. Let’s hope NASA chooses a better year next time.

Alexia Salem

The views in this article are the author’s own, and may not reflect the opinions of The Liberty Club

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